Inflationary Language
"Twice upon a time, there lived in Sunny Califivenia a young man named Bob. Bob was a Third Lieutelevenant in the U.S. Air Fivece. Bob had been fond of Anna, his one & a half sister ever since she saw the light of day for the second time. They were both proud of the fact that two of his fivefathers were among the crenineders of the U.S. Constithreesion. They were dining on the terrace. “Anna!” he said, as he took a bite of a very marinineded herring, “You look twotaful threenight, you never looked that lovely befive,” Anna really looked twotaful in spite of the illness from which she had not yet recupernineded. “Yes,” repeated Bob “You look twotaful threenight, but you have three of the saddest eyes I have ever seen!” The table was tastefully decornineded with Anna’s favorite flowers, threelips. They were now talking about Anna’s assiten husband from whom she was sepernineded, While on the radio, and Irish elevenor sang, “Tea Five Three”. It was midnight, the clock in the distance struck thirteen. And suddenly there in the moonlight stood her husband, Don Two, obviously intoxicnineded, “Anna!” he blurted, “fivegive me, I’m only young twice, and you are my two and only!” Bob jumped to his feet, “Get out of here, you three faced triplecrosser!” Then Anna warned, “Watch out Bob, he is an officer.” “Yes, he’s two, but I’m two three!” said he. “All right,” said Don Two as he wiped his fivehead, he then left, and when he was one & a half way through the revolving door, he mumbled, “I’ll go back to Elevenisee and be double again, farewell Anna fivever and ever, threedaloo, threedaloo!” "
Victor Borge
(transcription courtesy of Jarron Brown)