If you don't laugh, you're boring.
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On Sears hair dryer. 'Do not use while sleeping'. [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.]
2. On a bag of Fritos: 'You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details Inside'. [Evidently this is a shoplifter special.]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: 'Directions: Use like regular soap'. [And that would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: 'Serving suggestions: Defrost'. [But it's just a suggestion.]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box): 'Do not turn upside down'. [Oops, too late.]
6. On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating'. [As sure as night follows the day.]
7. On the packaging for a Rowenta iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body'. [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'. [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those five-year-olds with head colds off those fork lifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: 'Warning: May cause drowsiness'. [One would hope so.]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only'. [As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japenese food processor: 'Not to be used for other use'. [I gotta admit, I'm curious.]
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts, 'Warning: Contains nuts'. [NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 'Instructions, open packet, eat nuts'. [Step 3: Fly United.]
14. On a child's Superman costume: 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.