I love Aussies, I really do!
Two Aussie sailors were docked in England, and they went to a British pub. They got totally smashed, drunk beyond belief. They staggered out after closing time, holding each other up, and were confronted with a true London peasouper... fog so thick you could barely see your hand in front of your face. Just then, a British general walks by. One of the Aussies says, "Hey, mate, could y'tell us where we are?" The British general looks shocked and indignant. "Excuse me! Do you know who I am?" The Aussies look at each other and one says, "We're really in trouble now, mate. We don't know where we are, and he doesn't know who he is." :o)
Two Aussies died, and found themselves in front of the Pearly Gates. The angel there kinda looks them over, then says, "I don't think you two are supposed to be here. Let me go check with my boss." The angel finds St. Peter and asks him about the Aussies. St. Peter says, "Dear me, Australia is mostly peopled by criminals... they're probably not supposed to be here, but we'd better check The Book." So they both go back, but the Aussies are gone.
And so are the Pearly Gates. :o)